The Larry Crowne Affair

I'm pretty sure most of us are aware of Tom Hanks's new movie coming out next weekend, Larry Crowne. Well, when I first heard about the movie there were two reasons that I didn't want to see it.  First one, off the bat, was that I assumed it was a spoof of the similarly named The Thomas Crown Affair. I have nothing against The Thomas Crown Affair. In fact, I've never seen it. This meant that I would have to watch two movies now instead of the one. I'm not that lazy, but I am a New Yorker. Instinctively, we will "eh" at any requests appended to the original and just blow off the whole thing.

My other reason was that after seeing the trailer for the first time, I ended up really liking it. He seemed to be a lot cooler than I was and that set me off. I'm 27 years old and I don't live nearly the cool life that he does. No one has ever asked me to join a scooter gang. So what if I don't own a scooter! No gang has ever offered me a spot. The scooter isn't even the point. Hanks reminds me of being on one and that makes me love him for it. Then I turn around and get upset again because, damn it, Hanks, why can't I stay mad at you? 

It does suck that his character losses his job and has to go to college. But, maybe I want to go back. With all the knowledge I now posses of the "real" world and how woman truly act, I would ravage college chicks. Yes, these are the words of a delusional male.

I won't even touch the fact that he makes out with his teacher. Even entertaining that thought would force me to hurl this table at someone. Granted they're middle aged and in their complete right to make out with whomever, no matter how gross adults look when they're making out. Especially at the bar. Did I mention I was 27?  

Now, I'll sit back and wait for the movie to come out and I'll be sure to bring a date. If that's not happening, I'll wait for it to come out on DVD/Bluray and drown my lonely tears in a snot covered pillow.