Accessorize the Demons

It cracks me up how accessories have become as important as they are. Watches, wallets, and key rings are a part of our daily lives. Most recently, the cellphone case has become a huge one, and if you own an iPhone, it's become absolutely essential. The days of sticking one's phone in their pocket just the way it is has gone out with yesterday's trash.

I remember when I was younger, my friends and I would laugh at the attempts of kiosk workers peddling Louis V knock off cases in the mall. The joke was on us, I guess. Years later, people are lining up to get the latest iPhone and holding a case in their free hand.

They've even become more than a hard exterior to protect your phone. Some are fashion statements, while  others are just making a statement that you clearly don't know how firmly grip a phone. I remember spending an hour deciding between two cases that I wanted. That's when I realized I was an idiot and chose one. Of course, I've realized I was an idiot on plenty more occasions. God help me when I get married.

Of all accessories, watches are my favorite. I know what you're thinking, "there's a clock on your phone." But cellphones don't look good on your wrist. As much as I like them, watches always leave me disappointed. It's not the watch's fault. It's me.

See, the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, chose not to bless me with large hands. They do the job, but, when it comes to watches, they're terrible to work with. Every single watch I tried on during my last "watch outing" made my hands look even smaller than they already were. Luckily, I found one that was just the right fit. Sadly, it took about three days.

But, have you seen the sizes of watches these days? They're huge! They also weigh a ton. I can only imagine what horrible accidents they will cause when people remove them. Hands flying at their faces to brush aside some stray hairs will probably result in black eyes. Hailing a cab will dislocate one's shoulder. And some one will, undoubtedly, wake up in the hospital after knocking themselves unconscious, trying to answer their phone three days prior.

It will serve as a reminder that accessories really aren't important.

Can I hear you now?

Isn't technology amazing or as most moms would say "isn't that something else?" I'm only saying it because this is being typed on my phone while I wait in a doctor's office. Earlier, I used it to catch up on twitter and attempted to stump a friend in a game of hang man. Although entertaining, it doesn't keep me from chuckling at the woman sitting a few feet away from me, commenting on what is on the tv. It also helps that she is sitting with her face only inches from the screen.

Of course, I stopped writing this to read an article in the latest Antenna Magazine* that discussed an experiment where the participants went without their phones for 48 hours. It was a fun read but I immediately felt like a failure when I picked up my phone to make sure I hadn't missed any tweets. Then I remembered the woman who looked like she was making out with the female host of a day time show (It's cool. That's legal now). Talk about instant gratification.

Now, as great as phone technology has become, I still don't understand why people talk on their phones while driving. No, I don't mean the tool bags with their Bluetooths, in their Mercedes that will cost more than the artificial insemination my future wife and I will go through because things like this get on my nerves. I'm talking about the people who still hold their phones. Unfortunately, the tools have it right here. Their Mercedes is less likely to end up in the rear of my sweet Protege.

Well, before I really start sounding like a jaded douche, I'll end with saying that I love my phone. I'm also very addicted to it. So addicted, I've taken up stealing.

*Pete, I swiped the issue from your coffee table on my way home Monday morning. Don't expect it back. I've sold it.