Get It Together, Man!

A startling revelation occurred this morning while I was getting dressed. I had just finished taking a nice shower, washing my hair with my designer shampoo and conditioner, and shaving with an old fashioned safety razor and a mug of warm shaving foam that I whipped myself. Freshly clean, I stepped into my room and went about my usual morning routine (a loosely used term since I normally wake up at 11am or noon).

I reach for the top shelf of my dresser and pull out a pair of clean boxer briefs. I step into them and admire myself in the mirror. Both arms slip through an undershirt and I'm ready to continue. That's when it hit me.

Let me go back and elaborate a little. Everything about the shower was completely true. I spend way more on toiletries than most men and like to think that it shows. I do shave with a safety razor and whip my own foam because I get a better shave from it. That's where the truth ends, or rather, where I decide to omit it.

Stepping into my room is like walking through a scene in Aladdin. There's dirt on the carpet, clothes hanging and thrown about the room, and a fez wearing monkey. Ok, maybe the monkey doesn't exist, but for all I know he could possibly be living under my bed (I haven't looked there in years). Frankly, I rather my room be named the Cave of Wonders with my own Princess Jasmin waiting to show me "a whole new world", but there never is and there probably won't be if I keep this up.

Sadly, I must continue my confession. The top drawer is empty. The boxer briefs were pulled out of the laundry bag on my floor and they're ripping. Lord knows when the last time I folded my laundry and placed them in my dresser was. There's also no mirror because I'm a pretty big guy and I'm sure I'd just get sad every time I looked into it.

But, seriously. When did I become this unkempt version of a man I never imagined myself to be? I'm sure I'm not the only one either. One look at some of the places my friends call home can help validate my point. Of course, I've never really noticed any of this until I found it in myself and neither has anyone else. It just seems that somewhere down the line, we gave up caring about our surroundings and solely focused on the immediate self.

Well, here's my personal challenge. Get it together. This is a challenge from myself to myself. Get things in order and become a man. Not just a teenager living in the body of a man and foregoing all the lessons my family taught me. Do I really want my mother yelling at me to pick up my room?

Several people told me that my last post made me out to be someone who thought they were cooler than most and a ladies man. I hope that this has shown them that I'm not at all what they perceived.