Do These Pleats Go With My Vans?

A few posts ago, I talked about how grateful I was for women's fashion this season. I saluted legs and gave a hearty thank you to short dresses. There was also my mention of legs and my appreciation for them. Then my sister reads my entry and tells me that I'm being a bit of a creep. And know what? She was a little right about it.

I don't feel that I was much of a creep in the sense of the kiddie pool character of that blog. It was more in the "I'm a daily schlub" kind of way. Although appreciated, I had become more or less a version of the construction worker, cat calling women as they walk past.

That's when I stepped back and took a look at myself and some guys around me and noticed a few things. 

Now, I'm not going to use this time to take shots at myself and my fellow males. It's a given that a lot of men have a sense of fashion. We can pretty much tell that by the onslaught of male names on brands when we're walking through the mall or flipping through the pages of a magazine. And no, Sean John does not count. It just seems that there's a loss of translation between what's on the racks and magazine pages, and what we men are actually wearing. 

We're strictly talking about summer wear here. So, what's with the mock shorts that end half way down the shin? I like to think that someone accidentally shrunk the remaining stock of JNCOs and made millions selling them as shorts. This isn't a call to arms for short shorts either. No one should ever be subjected to the torture of seeing that much "guy thigh".

We're also very guilty of wearing graphic tees far too often. Yes, they're comfortable and some of them are funny, but that's the same excuse that women are using for Uggs. My wardrobe would be a lot better off with some nice button downs and clean tees. I can't do v-necks, though.

I hope to dress like the older gentleman who was sitting next to me while I started writing this. He had on a pair of khakis with a light white dress shirt. He was untucked, but not unkempt and his shoes were the perfect loafer that ask, "am I walking around the office or the backyard of a friend's place?" I don't want to dress like him today, but definitely in my years to come.

Plus, it's hip to dress a bit trashy, right? Are kids still using "hip" these days?

Get It Together, Man!

A startling revelation occurred this morning while I was getting dressed. I had just finished taking a nice shower, washing my hair with my designer shampoo and conditioner, and shaving with an old fashioned safety razor and a mug of warm shaving foam that I whipped myself. Freshly clean, I stepped into my room and went about my usual morning routine (a loosely used term since I normally wake up at 11am or noon).

I reach for the top shelf of my dresser and pull out a pair of clean boxer briefs. I step into them and admire myself in the mirror. Both arms slip through an undershirt and I'm ready to continue. That's when it hit me.

Let me go back and elaborate a little. Everything about the shower was completely true. I spend way more on toiletries than most men and like to think that it shows. I do shave with a safety razor and whip my own foam because I get a better shave from it. That's where the truth ends, or rather, where I decide to omit it.

Stepping into my room is like walking through a scene in Aladdin. There's dirt on the carpet, clothes hanging and thrown about the room, and a fez wearing monkey. Ok, maybe the monkey doesn't exist, but for all I know he could possibly be living under my bed (I haven't looked there in years). Frankly, I rather my room be named the Cave of Wonders with my own Princess Jasmin waiting to show me "a whole new world", but there never is and there probably won't be if I keep this up.

Sadly, I must continue my confession. The top drawer is empty. The boxer briefs were pulled out of the laundry bag on my floor and they're ripping. Lord knows when the last time I folded my laundry and placed them in my dresser was. There's also no mirror because I'm a pretty big guy and I'm sure I'd just get sad every time I looked into it.

But, seriously. When did I become this unkempt version of a man I never imagined myself to be? I'm sure I'm not the only one either. One look at some of the places my friends call home can help validate my point. Of course, I've never really noticed any of this until I found it in myself and neither has anyone else. It just seems that somewhere down the line, we gave up caring about our surroundings and solely focused on the immediate self.

Well, here's my personal challenge. Get it together. This is a challenge from myself to myself. Get things in order and become a man. Not just a teenager living in the body of a man and foregoing all the lessons my family taught me. Do I really want my mother yelling at me to pick up my room?

Several people told me that my last post made me out to be someone who thought they were cooler than most and a ladies man. I hope that this has shown them that I'm not at all what they perceived.