Take A Number, Please.

It's a bit weird when you run into a friend's ex-girlfriend. I like to think that I'd say hi when I see them, but the truth is that I'll only do it when I know for certain that they've seen me. Even then, I say hi very softly just in case I actually slipped passed their vision. Let's face it, though. I'm not very hard to miss.

So, we end up exchanging as few words as possible, at least on my side. I try to not let things go passed "hi", unless I really got along with the girl. But when it's your friend's brother's ex (did you follow that?), I won't even say anything.

And oh boy is it fun when they're out with another guy! In the back of my head, all I'm thinking is "haha! You're the idiot who came after my friend." 9 times out of 10, the girl is completely crazy and good on your friend for getting out of that circus they called a relationship. Then there's the 1 time that you know your friend is still at home and crying his eyes out after reruns of Scrubs. Great show, by the way.

Seeing as I've had the fewest exes of all my friends, I wonder what my friends will think of my future ex-girlfriend. Hopefully, they'll treat her with the respect that she probably deserves and the dignity every human should receive. This is all just in the moment, of course. We'll drag her name through the mud later, the bitch.

Slap 'Em With Kindness

Picture the scene: WOMAN talking on her phone barks order at a coffee shop worker. In between each customized order, she barks orders at her phone. There's a lot of "no"s involved. Uncertain, the coffee shop worker stops and erases the transaction. They start all over again and we find out the person on the other end of the phone is her husband. I let out a loud "ha" and continue to sip my drink.

Somewhere in the last two decades, the human connection was lost. The art of appreciating one another went right down the toilet. I don't mean to say that everyone has lost  their good sense, but that things aren't the same as they used to be.

Earlier this morning, a couple from out of town were out wandering around the Lower East Side. They stood at the corner where I was waiting for a friend, with their map out, and completely lost. They kept to themselves and searched for the street signs and how it corresponded with what they held in their hands. After thirty seconds of feeling bad for them, I offered my help. I pointed to our location on their map and wished them a good day as they left. Turning to my friend, I simply said "breaking that stereotype." He laughed because we know that as New Yorkers, we're not thought of as nice people. New Yorkers are tough, but it doesn't mean that we can't be kind.

So, I've created a personal challenge. I'll do my best to be kinder. Don't get me wrong. This doesn't mean I'll a be pushover. I'm not that woman's husband. I'll simply try my best to be a gentleman and stand against the current.